SINGLE AND PARENTING

CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING!

These pint-sized crumb snatching ankle biters are our future, our hope, and they become what we pass on to them whether it’s knowledge, character, genes, or talent… good or bad. That alone is one scary thought. They are the very extension of ourselves. Whether biologically or not, your influence on them will very well shape their character and their walk towards their future.  God entrusted you with this task. Majority of my readers are likely single moms or single dads but I do wish to acknowledge the fact that, sadly, the role of a parent is not something everyone has the pleasure to experience. In this context, I speak in terms of actual parenting, and not just the act of becoming a parent. Perhaps it’s the unfortunate possibility of not being able to bear children. It could be the demands of their career choice. It could be of personal fear in being responsible for a vulnerable life. It could be a parent’s premature death. Or, it could be a parent’s cowardly decision or selfish choice to be absent. The circumstances are endless but for whichever the reason, an absent parent, in particular, also has just as much of an impact on the well-being of a child, especially if that child considers them to be significant in their life.

 

 LETTING GO OF THE “S” … FROM BEING “SUPER” TO JUST BEING “STILL”

 

Mostly all parents would agree that it’s hard work to raise children, especially single parents.  So how do you define a single parent? Looking up this definition, it is defined as a “person bringing up a child or children without a partner.” That seems to be accurate and straight to the point. But the reality is, there is much more. Now I do want to be careful in what I’m saying here because I am aware that there exist single parents who’ve chosen to raise children without a partner. To them I say, more power to you! However, most single parents would agree that it was not a choice to raise a child alone, and most often it is a result of failed relationships or a death of their partner or spouse. I officially became a single mom as a result of a failed relationship, a divorce; but quite honestly, I was already a single mom during my marriage because my former husband, at the time, frequently traveled for work – six weeks out, less than a week at home then back out for six weeks, etc. Much to my surprise, since our divorce there’s been no voluntary assistance, no acknowledgment of their existence, and no responsibility.

 

KEEPING IT REAL

Now let me tell you Hunny, it has been difficult. It has been rough. And of course it has challenged my sanity. You see, I’ve struggled financially for years since my divorce. There were periods of wealth (and when I mean wealth I mean sustainable savings for a period of time in which bills and other financial obligations are able to be met TIMLEY and without interruption, or need for supplementing… you know, not needing to borrow from Peter to pay Paul) and then there were periods of drought. Now this drought period is the one I’ve experienced more of; the level of drought just periodically changes. In some instances, I’ve financially struggled to pay rent, make car payments, pay the electric/gas bill, extracurricular activities for the kids, overdraft fees, late fees, needing clothes for my ever-growing children, other unexpected expenses, and oh, don’t get me started on the FOOD… so yup, these drought periods start looking pretty much like a modern day famine! On paper, things could really work, but that would mean everything would have to go exactly as planned with no hiccups. But does it ever really???

Lord knows I’m sooooo sick of this pay check to pay check life, but being the only person with an income providing for my children and home, things get dangerously rough. I hate to mention this actually, but let’s just say their father is very much alive, equipped and abundantly able to financially assist. After recently losing my job and home, I decided that enough was enough… not just in financial struggles but overall – for my kids, feeling stuck and over whelmed. Never have I at all tried to duck out of my responsibilities. But have you ever been there? Have you ever been afraid of looking at your phone, your mail, or even your bank account due to financial circumstances? If so, then you know where I’m coming from. But on others, it’s quite easy to quickly pass judgment. Understand that that very “fear and avoidance” doesn’t come from a place of blatant intentional disregard. It goes much deeper than that. It’s the accumulation of disappointments, failures, inadequacy, lack of motivation, doubt, and many more, even depression. That moment of vulnerability can’t be described simplistically; it takes understanding and personally experiencing it.


Stay prayed up and be blessed!

– Prophese

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